I hate sport. I think.

With the exception of PE lessons in school and sporadic spinning classes as an adult, it would be fair to say that my life so far has been a sport free existence. I am so anti- sport that I have found myself deliberately and aggressively avoiding all things olympic and even refusing to buy certain food items as all of a sudden they’ve been olympiacised (new word alert) and they’ve come over all red white and blue. I am not the slightest bit overjoyed/ proud/ excited that London is hosting the Olympics as I am just. not. interested.

Considering my vehment dislike of all things olympic I cannot believe that I just sat and watched the whole damn opening ceremony from begin to almost end (Paul McCartney came on and the telly went off). Not only that- I actually enjoyed it (cough, splutter!). A lot (choke!).

I never watched the 2008 ceremony in Beijing but I remember that when London won the 2012 bid, I heard murmurings that doubted the ability of London to put on a dazzling show that could match the spectacular firework laden performance that China put on.  Well what the opening sequence may have lacked in pyrotechnics it more than made up for in creativity, imagination, style and humour. The first 25 minutes were SPECTACULAR and as much as I wanted to do what I usually do and switch over, I just couldn’t stop watching. To say I was impressed and engaged would be unjust as I was totally consumed by it all. That first sequence was energetic, inclusive, funny and highly entertaining.- and of course- terribly British. Who needs excessive glitz when you’ve got quirk and eccentricity in abundance? The old adage of sticking to your strengths has never rung so true.

The Queen is now a movie star! The Queen has a sense of humour! Who would have thunk it?! The queen was also bored as I saw her examining her fingernails as Team GB entered the stadium so I guess one was not amused for too long. I’m sure I saw Prince Phillip catching forty winks. One couple who definitely were not sleeping was Charles and Camilla who seemed to be the only ones in the royal enclosure having a jolly good time.

It was all very educational though and I’ve been trying to remember as much of the informative commentary as possible in case I ever actually get to go on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” and the final question is, “Which country was the last in the world to have television.” I can then confidently shout out, “Bhutan” before Chris Tarrant has even read out my options. I will smile sweetly when it is indeed the correct answer, collect my cheque and hit the airport. Tuvalu? It’s a Polynesian island. Comoro? It’s an island off the east coast of Africa. I know these things Mr Tarrant, because I watched the opening ceremony for the London 2012 olympics even though I hate sport. Had I known there was such a wealth of knowledge to be gleaned just by watching a bit of the olympics on the telly I’d have been tuning in years ago.

What did you make of it all? Like it? Love it? Hate it?

Photo from Flickr


10 Comments on “I hate sport. I think.”

  1. Loved it, and I hate sport too…I am not feeling altogether positive about having to go to the rowing tomorrow at Eton. A whole morning of rowing. A. Whole.Morning.

  2. Oh, I hear you. Competitive sports of any kind bore me to my boots. While I enjoyed moving my body as a young ‘un, (see swimming, dancing and gym), the rest of it constituted a special sort of hell you simply had to endure until you left school. My ex-boss said I was the only person she’d ever met who had no interest in watching any sport or supporting any teams. I’m Jewish, I told her, we don’t do sport; we do violinists, surgeons and lawyers. Also, as a Londoner, I feel particularly curmudgeonly about the Olympics. Firstly because we were taxed more to pay for it, and secondly because the average working person is expected to jump hurdles of their own for weeks on end to accommodate the bastard event. Five years on and the tube still doesn’t run properly despite the upgrade we were promised…so yeah, not keen.

    However my curiosity was piqued when it came to Danny Boyle and I have to say I was totally blown away by what he did. As somebody who works in the creative industries, I sometimes take it for granted how much we Brits excel creatively speaking but seeing it all spelled out like that – in music, film, design, dance, literature and all the rest – was truly gobsmacking. I loved the humour of it, (like, the Queen omg, who knew?) but also found parts of it incredibly moving, not just the obvious stuff like Emili Sandé singing Abide With Me but the whole relentlessly celebratory spirit of it, and the talent on show. It definitely made me prouder than I knew I was to be British. (You were right to switch off when you did though. Poor old Macca stunk. He was out of synch and his voice is shot to holy hell. Plus why Hey Jude? Surely All You Need Is Love or With a Little Help From My Friends, or, at a pinch, The Long and Winding Road might have been in keeping with the theme of the whole shebang?)

    Macca aside, it was brilliant. I still won’t be watching the Games though.

    • Deena says:

      I’m not even sure who Danny Boyle is. Every time I hear his name I think of Danny Dyer and Danny Wallace. I should google him so I can get things straight in my head!

      From your review it sounds like Macca was well worth missing. Dearie me. Maybe he should just bow out gracefully rather than let things spiral downwards slowly. Its not like he has anything to prove. Is the opening ceremony going to be repeated do you know? Or is it a case of catching it on iplayer or something?

      I will watch ten seconds of the games- the mens 100m final. Thats about all I can manage.

      • He’s the director of Trainspotting and Slum Dog Millionaire. But, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve no idea who Danny Dyer or Danny Wallace are!

      • Deena says:

        Oh I seeeee. Danny Dyer is a TV personality. I know him as the guy who travels the globe hanging out with the world’s toughest gangs and deadliest people and makes documentaries on his exploits. Danny Wallace writes a very funny column in Shortlist magazine. Now we’ve both learned something today 🙂

  3. Jaccilien says:

    Love this blog! I only stumbled upon it a few days ago and now I’m on a huge binge reading your prior posts! Thanks for being awesome and inspiring. Much love from the States!

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